I moved my blog to wordpress.

No reason.

darcielynn.wordpress.com

Give It Up Bubble-Lady

I considered putting this blog on the one we have set up for the magazine, but nobody reads that. Probably because we don't put anything on it.

The bulk of my time right now is magazine related. Brainstorming, contemplating, giving feedback, editing, researching, building contacts, interviewing and many other things have all been part of the process. These days it is selling ad space. I think Marketing may be the first position we fill when we start hiring . . . after the Accountant, obviously. And, maybe, our Personal Assistant.

I admittedly, and willingly, live in a bubble. I have often requested that others carefully navigate this bubble because I don't want it to pop. In this bubble, selling ad space was easy. One glance of our vision and people would gladly jump aboard! With my eyes opened to reality last week, selling ad space is time consuming, unsure and way more important then we intended it to be. After not getting the grants we applied for, and wanting to do this free of debt, ad space became our main source of initial income. Yikes.

In order to have the money we need to print, we have to have 3 of 7 alloted spaces sold. Or lots of people willing to pay for subscriptions before they ever see anything. We have one of those willing people, but his $13.00 will print about 10 magazines. Not exactly our first run quota.

Friday afternoon I sat at Agia Sophia, unmotivated and easily distracted. I had let the pressure get to me. By the end of the time I was so frustrated I packed everything up (carelessly leaving my computer cord behind) and drove home, tension filling my shoulders as I rehashed my inefficient hours. And then it hit me. I had to give it up. All of it.

We have never intended the magazine to be "ours". It is a labor of love, a tool, a vehicle that will, hopefully and prayerfully, bring awareness and change. It is not a prison, not mine to control, not a work of only my hands. I had to give it back and give it up.

So Friday afternoon, when I wanted to sit down and try again, I loaded everything into my closet and vowed not to touch it or think about it for the weekend. Sort of a passion fast. I had to give up what I was holding so tightly to I was about to kill it. And breathe.

So I prayed and released gradually, as sometimes is necessary, and felt the tension ease out of my shoulders as I realized, again, that my feeble attempts will never be enough. I must, and will, let it go before I ruin it.

In all of my letting go I had another reminder seep into consciousness - thankfulness. Time and time again I have to be reminded that being thankful puts everything into perspective. I want to be considered a thankful person, but it is easy to let it slip. It feels so much less powerful then doing and striving and proving. Thankfulness is like the secret code that gets you into the inner room. The key. Without it, all is hidden behind a veil and no matter how much you knock or pound, nothing will open until you utter the deep, heartfelt words of thanks.

I may be back to ad space and editing today, but in my fingers I know it is a different energy. Not one I am pushing out and running low on, but that which is in never-ending supply. I love that I get to live my dream job, enjoy Mondays and conference calls and too many emails. May this house be built on sweat and faith, not just sweat.

Green Sick and Green Tired of Green Politics

Today I heard an advertisement from a company in the United States tooting their own horn about doing so much research to help find green, sustainable living. I almost shouted and drove off the road. I am soooooo tired of hearing big business say they are changing the world with their 10 and 15 percent green and research. Do they think we don't already have the technology and the research to be environmentally friendly?

There is a city in Germany that is called one of the greenest cities in the world. The high energy efficiency requirements for housing, solar panels, low vehicle admittance, a design that encourages walking and/or bike riding, and more have made it so the residents of Freiburg, Germany actually produce more energy then they use. Plus, because Germany has passed laws requiring that excess energy be bought from families at a fixed rate, the residents are making money by living in their environmentally friendly homes. (Which, I add, are very nice.)

Children play in the streets, since there are few cars and the city gives pedestrians and cyclists full use of roadways while cars are required to drive at walking speeds. Compost and waste are processed to create more energy, which is sold back to the city as well. Even the hotel in Freiburg boasts efficiency with solar paneling as does the sports complex that runs completely independently.

Below are links about Freiburg. I would like big business in the US to be boasting about placing technology in use instead of researching something that can already begin to be implemented.

http://ucdesustainability.blogspot.com/2009/07/solar-energy-use-in-freiburg-germany.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/mar/23/freiburg.germany.greenest.city

tattoing livestock brings man artistic honors

I actually can't find words. I feel strangely violated seeing this, but can't pin point why . . .

I made up the headline.

Little Miss Piggy's Cold

I have been so tired these last few days. After not sleeping Friday night due to the brisk chill of the Winter Park, Colorado air, I found myself in a deep slumber Saturday night. And Sunday. And then again Sunday night. I woke up late for my Conference Call today. Luckily, you can have Skype meetings in pajama's, but that isn't a habit I want to get into.

I decided to do a little research on the H1N1 virus, not because I think I have it, but because I have been so decisively against the vaccination that I wanted to get some proper research done. The chart shows the number of people going to the doctor or the hospital for any kind of flu type illness. The red is this year.

I am still not getting the vaccination. Below is a chart of deaths for Pneumonia and Influenza. What this chart shows me is that last year was a bad year, but some how it looks the same since 2006. Does that mean we have had pandemonium since 2006 and I just wasn't paying attention?

If you want more info and stats to make decisions about getting H1N1 vaccinations, here is a link to the CDC:

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/weekly/

All I ask is that people make decisions because they really have an idea of what is going on, not just because someone told you something. A little google searching can go a long way.

If you want perspective on what really makes a pandemic here is a link to research on Spanish Influenza:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/influenza/index.html

Acquiring Information

If you have heard of the StrengthsFinder book/test you know that it measures your top five strengths, out of 64, based on your response to a long, tedious computer test. (I wonder if there is a strength given to those who just don't finish the test?!) If you didn't know that, I just told you and you can buy the book and get a code and take the test and find out what you should focus your energy on, strengths wise. The argument is that trying to fix weaknesses doesn't improve your ability to contribute to anything - work, relationships, or hobbies. Rather, focusing on what you are good at, and getting better, leads you into a life where you will be most "successful" or at least really good at what you are doing, depending on your definition of successful.

Three of my top five strengths involve information. Input (Gathering Info), Intellection (Thinking about Info), and Learner. (The other two are Restoration and Connectedness if you were wondering).

This test has helped me understand that I am not a fickle, flighty person who just jumps around from thing to thing, uprooted and irresponsible. Rather, I now see that I am wired to search, attain and process information. I am Google. Walking.

Week Gone By - Test Your Time Skills

My sister and I were talking last night about how perspective changes everything. For example: You sit down with someone who keeps telling you they have no time and have them actually write out their schedule and show them where they do have time. Or, the person who always says they have no money, but a quick review of their ledger shows otherwise. Perspective truly changes everything.
My sister brought up a good point about expectations. It seems, and I am guilty of this, most people put lower productivity expectations on themselves then they do other people. If I work four hours, I feel accomplished, but when my mom says she is tired after her part-time job I heckle her. Yes, heckle.
This week I saw this first hand - somehow, having to be at work at 8:30am meant that I didn't have time to work out, work on the magazine, grocery shop, do laundry or be at all productive. Silly me, I was done working at 12:30, I had all kinds of time! However, once I walked out and away from my computer I was tired and felt like I had done enough. That is what happens when someone else decides my schedule. I just don't take control of my time.
I am using this example as an arguement for being my own boss forever.