I know, I know, I haven't posted in a month. I am sorry. So very sorry. The truth is things here in the Springs have started to catch up and, hopefully, there will be more blogging than in the last 30 days.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine about weddings. I mentioned that I don't want a wedding. Marriage, yes. Wedding, no. My friend asked for my reasoning, stating that a lot of women who don't want a wedding are bitter or heartbroken. That is not the case with me. I love life, where it is right now. So here are my top ten reasons I, personally, don't want a wedding: (Disclaimer: These apply to no one else. To my friends whose weddings I am in or have attended recently: I am so happy for you and am honored that you asked me to be a part.)
In no particular order (just because I don't want to take the time)
1. Being "should" on: Weddings have a lot of "should" involved. Do you invite Aunt Mary because you should? What about those cousins on the guest list you don't actually know? Do you toast in the middle or at the end? Do you invite a soon-to-be bro or sister-in-law to be in the wedding party? Tradition, tradition, tradition. I don't like being should on.
2. Stress: I am a simple girl. I like simple beauty, things that don't try and look beautiful and working hard on what will last. I have walked with several friends through wedding planning and, let's face it, seeing if your relationship can withstand the stress is not how I want to start a life together.
3. Timelines: Do you stay engaged for 24 hours? 24 days? 24 months? What is the right answer? Is there a right answer? Who knows.
4. How much does that dress cost?
5. Mysterious symbolic traditions: What do the bridesmaids represent? What is the history of golden bands of precious stone and metal? Why pink and floral? The best wedding I went to this year had traditions from Latin America that were explained and as the bride and groom participated, you knew the commitment they were making. I am afraid it is not so in the majority of weddings. What are we doing?
6. How much is it appropriate to charge my friends for being in my wedding? (bridesmaid dresses, parties, time) My dream day versus their budget . . . hmmmm
7. Hassle + hassle + hassle = hooplah. Not a fan of the hooplah.
8. Do you know how long I can live on $10,000?
9. My mom offered to pay my sister to not have a wedding. That's gotta mean something.
10. I am more excited about life and future than one day of silk and lace.
11. (sorry, can't stop) I utterly despise being the center of attention.
So, hopefully that doesn't sound bitter, or take away from the truth of the weddings I am able to participate in. It is just personal preference. Most of my closest friends know these things, but now it is in writing. :0)
Love conquers all.
2 comments:
Good perspective. It's true, the wedding is for everyone else. The marriage is what you gain from it.
I did mine for extended family. And his mom. And the presents. The presents were nice.
What about a big as costume party instead??
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