Home

I wonder about the idea of "home." I have been looking for this idea for the majority of my life. Do we really have a place to call home? Or is it based on people we know? Is there a culture that feels like home? Somewhere we are made for? I call Colorado Springs home because it is where I grew up and where my immediate family resides. I don't, however, have any mushy, glowing feeling about Colorado Springs. I like it. I know it. I live in it from time to time, but it doesn't feed me, sustain me, nourish me. Ireland felt the most like what I imagine home to feel like. I fit there like I have never fit anywhere else. I came from that land and my ancestry is rooted there. I could see glimpses of myself in the interactions I had with people there, whether they were deep or impacting or not.
So what makes a home? Family? Comforts? Familiarity? A closet and not having to live out of a suitcase? When someone asks you to plant roots, does it have to be in one place, monotonous, to be valid? Or can you plant roots in an idea, a cause, a belief? I don't feel uprooted, but I clearly have not stayed in one place for long in the last few years. Does that make what I do or who I am invalid? Irrational? Immature?
I wonder about our corporate idea of roots and solidarity. It may not look or feel like the traditional definition, but what I have and what my friends have is authentic. I am convinced of that.

Not Myself

Do you ever have those times where you feel less like yourself then normal? The situations where your comfort zone is in another time zone and the voice in the back of your head is saying, "did I really just say that?" I have these times. The truth is, I feel like some people get me and others don't. What do I do for a living? Whatever I am supposed to today. What is my passion? Loving people really well and figuring out what it means to be a disciple. Do I have problems? More then my fair share I think and a lot of people that have pulled next to me, stood behind me, cheered me on and refused to judge. Amen for them. So this is my thought today. I would really, really like to be someone that gave people a fair shot. I would really, really like to be someone that doesn't walk away from a potential friend, doesn't give up on a misunderstood person, refuses to back down when someone has a dream they can't fulfill by themselves. More than anything I don't want to judge. I don't care if your hair color, your bank account, your past actions, your semantics are different than mine. I want to know the you behind the you that everyone else sees. I want to know the you that comes out on the 11th hour and the you that is shy in the first minutes of meeting someone. I want dig deeper and know how deep your well goes, not for my sake, but so you can believe in yourself. I desire to try my damndest to not jump to conclussions, because first impressions and rash judgments are based in limited information. I will be steadfast. Not rooted in one place, but rooted in love.

Oh THAT Phrase!

So I went on a date yesterday. I know half of you are saying, "What? Who are you and what have you done with Darcie?" and the other half of you are saying, "It is about friggin' time." I don't care which side you fall on. It happened, that isn't what I am writing about.
Today I found out that the person I went on a date with didn't really think we were a good fit. Again, fine. I can't say if he is right or not, I don't feel like we know each other that well to make a statement, but still not what I am writing about. Just a little background to get to my vent.
A couple of close friends knew about this date and the circumstances around it and what I was thinking. In order to keep them in the loop I sent them each an email explaining that it wasn't going to work out. Then that dreaded phrase, "Don't worry. It will happen for you."
IT? What it? Like there is something missing in my life that means I should be sitting back waiting for a relationship. I love what I am doing with my life. I really, really do. I don't feel like I am missing anything. I don't feel like I am looking for someone to fulfill some deep hole in my chest. I am full. I am happy. I am doing what I love. So why the IT?
So, I have a request. I would really like everyone to stop looking at other people like they are missing half their face if they aren't married. That would be great.
[please read this blog like a sarcastic, comedic statement. I am not bitter. I just get a little tired of IT]
Also, I am sorry this is the first blog back from Ireland. I will catch you up on what is going down. Promise. Just had a lot on my mind this last week :)

Shockingly Beautiful

No words . . . just photos that capture a small percentage of the beauty.

Higher Than Average!!!

A couple of days ago Marianne and I were staying at a farmhouse near Cahirsiveen on the Iveragh Peninsula (where the Ring of Kerry is). We decided we wanted to go for a hike. All around the peninsula are little signs for the elaborate walking trails in the ring, so we thought we would just turn at the first sign we saw and follow a trail until we were satisfied. Just before the start of the trail we found was a sign with some basic information and a map. This sign clearly stated, "for higher than average fitness levels," and showed the trail reaching the tops of two peaks in the area. We remained undetered, though fairly sure we would not finish the trail and were not "higher than average." We set off with the recommended minimum supplies of snacks and raingear just to find ourselves trapsing through fields and scattering sheep as we climbed towards the top of our first Irish peak.

Four hours later (the exact estimated time for the hike) Marianne and I stumbled upon our car and had completed the loop!!! We are officially higher than average.

The way we roll

Driving around Ireland was the best decision. If you like road tripping, I highly recommend this option!!!

Idyllic

I may never leave

Darcie and Marianne's Tour Company, Day Two Itinerary: Start off heading the opposite direction from where you thought you were going. See some great things, then turn around. Walk through the city center shopping district, and discover a beautiful park - St. Stephan's Green. Sit and enjoy the weather until the pigeon's spy your scone and then leave on a hunt for a random pub. Enjoy short jaunts into interesting looking places just for the fun of it. Find random pub, eat lunch next door. Buy food for dinner. Nap. Eat dinner. Walk to St. Patrick's Cathedral and meet four Irish youth who are exceptionally fascinated with dread-locks and commission some drawings for C.O.D. Walk home towards the sunset.

Day One of "I LOVE THIS LIFE"

I love Ireland!!!!!

Goodbye for Now . . .

Good-bye, beach.
Good-bye cute, colorful beach huts.
Good-bye little snikey.
Good-bye coffee and organic muffins.
Good-bye new friends.

McGuyver Like Tendencies

This morning I had just finished my workout and was about to throw a few little items in a bag before showering and getting ready for the hours upon hours of flight ahead of me today. I reached out to my bedside table, grabbed my calendar and saw that my ATM card was lying under a book, where I could barely see it. "Oh, dear," I said to myself, "It would have sucked to forget that!" and as I reached down the damned ATM card jumped from its bedside perch and landed itself in a teeny tiny slit of the bookshelf. Lodged in between two pieces of wood, it refused to come out and refused even harder to be pulled from its tight jam. As I stuck bobby pins and tweezers down, it ran further into its new hole and became increasingly belligerent (okay, maybe I was the one becoming belligerent).

Thinking McGuyver must be somewhere in my family tree, I even tried to stick a piece of sticky-tack onto the end of a paper clip, wondering if it would blow up instead of just retrieve my ATM card.

When all was said and done, it took Evelien and me unloading the entire bookshelf, turning it upside down and showing gravity a lesson or two as we coerced the ATM card out of hiding by prying the wood of the bookshelf back with a screwdriver.

If this is any hint or warning as my day of traveling approaches, I am worried. Please pray for me.