Start Being Real

I remember watching The Real World on MTV when I was a teenager. The opening said, ". . . to see what happens when people stop being polite and start being real," and the whole show was based on the premise that eventually there is conflict when people are living together. The show made sure of this by throwing six or seven strong personalities into a house where they had to share rooms, live together, eat together and had a contant supply of alcohol to keep them going. My university supplies four out of the five above mentioned criteria - pretty much asking for the same result as the average Real World episode. While The Real World banked on the disruption of relationships, my university seems to only know how to deal with conflict in one, cookie-cutter way - plead with us to be examples of the scripture, "and they will know you are my disciples by your love for one another."
Of course I want to love my roommates and the people I live around. Of course I want to be an example of relationship working well. Of course I want to see friendships and relationships build on a great foundation of trust and truth. But, how the heck do we do this?
Over the last few months I have noticed, again, the gradual slide from politeness to realness. It is especially heightened in a cross-cultural setting where people really don't understand the other person, or their behavior, for no other reason than they come from different places on earth and just flat do things differently. There are different expectations, different assumptions, different experiences that all lend to either a vast sharing and learning experience or a clash of worlds. The Bible is actually very clear about dealing with conflict, but how often do we see it played out? I more often see leaders hide their feelings or make sarcastic remarks, then go to a person in love and try to work on the issue humbly. I more often see people lose their tempers, make a jabbing comment towards another person and exult their own idea of what is 'right' then humbly work together for an agreeable solution. I hardly ever see someone start a tough conversation excited about a positive outcome and in good spirits because we have the opportunity to "do the hard work of getting along" that James talks about. And, unfortunatly I see a lot of people respond in disrespect to the other person right off the bat, thus throwing a lot of possibility of resolution out the window.
I fall into every one of the horrible scenarios I just mentioned. I tend to be very passive agressive. I am more likely to give the silent treatment, harbor negative feelings, or write a note then confront an issue. I am more likely to make a "below the belt" accusation then work at understanding. I am most likely to just walk away from a conflict and sit in my room until I have wrestled it through then tell you how I am feeling. I would rather be able to love and learn the skills of conflict resolution. I would rather be humble and know that I, too, can change. I would rather open the door for reconciliation by my attitude, then shut it by my harsh words.
What have you learned about conflict resolution?