Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Weather or not . . .

The weather here is schizophrenic. Cold, hot, ice, sun, wind, wind, wind. Apparently it is getting closer to winter in the Cape. Darn it! I was enjoying my own, personal, endless summer.

The weather matches my mood, actually. In the last week I have woken up, pressed on, gotten tired, felt overwhelmed, steadied myself on the verge of confusion, tried to encourage others, been tested, found parts of me that were lost, lost parts of me I need to find . . . where is my umbrella?

This week our field assignment team was supposed to purchase plane tickets to Uganda. Not a single student going on field assignment has the money to do this. I find this interesting and in the midst of the question mark floating around my head I realize something about my heart - that there is a part of me that wants to be somewhere else. I even went online today to look and look for something that would jump out at me, allowing me to make my move.

After discussing this with another person I realized that I was not alone and began to wonder if the common feeling in this area partly stemmed from the refugee/displaced persons community. Afterall, I am literally surrounded by people who do not call Muizenberg home for various reasons. This growing feeling sometimes makes me want to just run away, and as the what ifs blow around, I search for plane tickets, think about visiting friends who may need to see me, factor the cost of already bought plane tickets and try and find the right answer like the right sweater on a cold day.

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