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I don't want to be a hypocrite.
Say you are sitting in your house, behind your locked door, on the inside of your brick wall, safely protected by your big gate, listening to Heidi Baker talk about desiring God, hungering in desperation and the poor of Mozambique and your bell rings.
You pause the message and peak out the window to be met with the deep brown eyes of 3 young boys and you don't open the gate. Rather, you sit in the living room and wrestle what you have been told and taught about the poor in South Africa.
Okay, by now you can understand that this is me. It happened today and a battle raged between the words of Isaiah "Is this not the fast I have chosen . . . to share your food with the poor?" and the ongoing argument that handouts here are like tightening the chains of poverty.
So what do I do? If I ask myself the cliche question "What would Jesus do?" I get another battle in my head because my first response is that he would walk out of the house and give the kids even the last bit of bread he had sitting here. But I wonder if that is true. . . I wonder because I believe there is more to Jesus than I know, both as a man and as God. I have to believe that because the world I see needs deeper healing than a bandage and a pat on the back, and the God that would walk out and hand bread to a poor person is handing a band-aid to an accident victim. (Okay, not all the time, sometimes it is just bread that people need) Poverty and need aren't solved with a bit of food. The women that Elijah helped started a small business for goodness sake, she baked and sold and had enough to eat. There was a plan involved and that plan provided for the woman and her son for years to come, it didn't feed her once and create a pattern of reliance. . .however, I may have just sent my neighbor away saying, "be warm and well-fed," and done nothing to help them get there.
When I was a kid people used to drop groceries off on our front porch anonymously because we didn't have enough. To this day I hold a special place in my memory of those moments and desire to be a generous and giving person as well, but do I get to pick and choose? If I don't give to the boys standing outside my gate, but I give to my friend going on outreach does it really count? Does it really solidify the process of begging so rampant in this country if you give to every door to door begger that comes by? Or is this just the outcome of so many high walls and locked gates - hard hearts?
I am mid-thought on this one, comments welcome, even if you call me a hypocrite.
Say you are sitting in your house, behind your locked door, on the inside of your brick wall, safely protected by your big gate, listening to Heidi Baker talk about desiring God, hungering in desperation and the poor of Mozambique and your bell rings.
You pause the message and peak out the window to be met with the deep brown eyes of 3 young boys and you don't open the gate. Rather, you sit in the living room and wrestle what you have been told and taught about the poor in South Africa.
Okay, by now you can understand that this is me. It happened today and a battle raged between the words of Isaiah "Is this not the fast I have chosen . . . to share your food with the poor?" and the ongoing argument that handouts here are like tightening the chains of poverty.
So what do I do? If I ask myself the cliche question "What would Jesus do?" I get another battle in my head because my first response is that he would walk out of the house and give the kids even the last bit of bread he had sitting here. But I wonder if that is true. . . I wonder because I believe there is more to Jesus than I know, both as a man and as God. I have to believe that because the world I see needs deeper healing than a bandage and a pat on the back, and the God that would walk out and hand bread to a poor person is handing a band-aid to an accident victim. (Okay, not all the time, sometimes it is just bread that people need) Poverty and need aren't solved with a bit of food. The women that Elijah helped started a small business for goodness sake, she baked and sold and had enough to eat. There was a plan involved and that plan provided for the woman and her son for years to come, it didn't feed her once and create a pattern of reliance. . .however, I may have just sent my neighbor away saying, "be warm and well-fed," and done nothing to help them get there.
When I was a kid people used to drop groceries off on our front porch anonymously because we didn't have enough. To this day I hold a special place in my memory of those moments and desire to be a generous and giving person as well, but do I get to pick and choose? If I don't give to the boys standing outside my gate, but I give to my friend going on outreach does it really count? Does it really solidify the process of begging so rampant in this country if you give to every door to door begger that comes by? Or is this just the outcome of so many high walls and locked gates - hard hearts?
I am mid-thought on this one, comments welcome, even if you call me a hypocrite.
2 comments:
Hey Hypocrite!
Your beautiful heart breaks mine. But even Jesus had to choose where He went and who He talked to. Yes, He wants us to help everyone. Yes, He would, nowadays, help anyone. But Darcie, you aren't Him, and all you can do right now is what is best for the world.
I turn, in the Book of Life, to World War 2, where we find our characters in Auschwitz, defeating the Nazis and discovering the malnourished Jews. Darcie, they couldn't feed them. They would have died.
You're not Heidi Baker... yet. You're not Jesus... ever. Pray for South Africa. Keep doing what you're doing. But if a handout is actually going to hurt them, then don't give it to them. I'm not allowed to help the homeless where I'm going either. It sucks.
Then again, what do I know. I know you have a big heart, and I love that about you.
Love, Hypocrite
I think you answered this question in your most recent blog about meeting people's deeper needs. I don't know if I could look into a child's eyes and not feed him! What does that make me? I've realized that I want to save the whole world but I can't. Imagine that! I'm learning to make the most of the relationships I have because that is where God truly works, and wants us to be gracious to others so He can work in those relationships thru us. -Becky Robertson
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